Relationship anxiety is made up of feelings of doubt, insecurity, nonstop worry, and a need for constant reassurance. This can happen while in a relationship or even when not in a relationship. This can cause a person to ignore their own needs as they are trying to stop the anxiety.
It is important to start with changing your view of emotions. Emotions that are labeled as bad or viewed as something you can’t stand to feel, activate the need to control them. Then you try figure out why you feel like you do. Reviewing and examining experiences to prove or disprove why you are having anxiety. This causes more discomfort and a greater intensity of anxiety and other uncomfortable emotions. *Think of it like this. Emotions that feel uncomfortable are like a can of soda. The more you shake it the fizzier it gets. But you can put the soda down after it is shaken, walk away, the fizz will disappear.
Do This: To improve relationship anxiety, start by rating the emotion intensity on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the most intense you have felt. Then rate the discomfort the same way, 10 being the most discomfort you have felt. Notice where you are feeling emotions in your body. Notice any sensations. Notice thoughts that pop up, not proving or disproving. Allow the emotions, and they will calm themselves.
The goal isn’t to make you stop feeling, it is to raise your comfort with feeling. Put another way, you are working to increase your ability to manage discomfort from emotions. There was a time when your survival felt like it depended on this hyperawareness. Now, it doesn’t.
