Why can't I let things go?
You may not be able to let things go very easily because of anxiety about how others see you, feeling misunderstood, or you worry you are missing something important. Another reason you may not be able to let things go could be childhood trauma or OCD. Both treatable but getting the right treatment leads to best outcomes.
Why do I feel anxiety about what others think?
Finding yourself unable to let things go because of anxiety about how others might think about you can cause rumination and replaying. Being stuck in a rumination or replaying cycle makes it impossible to let something go, even if you are tired of thinking about it.
While replaying and rumination can be a part of trauma, it can also be a compulsive behavior. Compulsive behaviors are intended to stop an undesirable outcome. So letting things go, might feel like you aren’t thinking through all the implications this could have on your relationship.
Why do I feel misunderstood and can't let things go?
Our brains are powerful and when you don’t feel understood, it can cause your brain to replay it over and over. Like you are looking for proof you were understood or proof you weren’t understood. Regardless of how many times you replay things, you come up with more doubts, more questions, and more worry. It doesn’t make the thinking stop.
Why do I care what others think about me?
Some overthinking is less about your partner and more about everyone watching. Does your relationship look happy enough from the outside? Would your friends and family approve? Is it as good as theirs? If you’re the one who feels responsible for everyone’s comfort, you may treat your relationship like a performance review. That pressure leaves little room to notice how you actually feel.
Why am I overthinking about things I can't let go
That nagging question, why can’t I let things go and get stuck overthinking, might be a form of hypervigilance. Hypervigilance is the overactive nervous system scanning for danger. Sometimes you hold on to things and mull it over and over, looking for the thing you are missing. Making sure you aren’t missing something.
How therapy helps
Therapy helps you sort out the right diagnosis so you can get the right treatment. Trauma, complex trauma, and OCD can cause you to not be able to let things go. And each of those diagnoses respond better to different treatments.
I’m Stephanie Winfrey, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), and I see clients virtually throughout Oklahoma and Washington. You don’t have to keep living in your head. When you’re ready, schedule a free consultation and we’ll talk about what’s been keeping you stuck.
